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2003-07-06 | 12:13 a.m.

Diary, it's late, and I'm tired. I had...no..no.. "WE" had a lovely day today. The girls each spent time with many of the people they love, doing things that they love. I had the company of my best friends, who's time I am guarding more jealously each day. Even Joey seemed to be quite content.

Each time my family suffers an emotional blow, we are reminded that all good things come to an end, like it or not. Today was a beautiful thing, for example, and now it's history. The first thing that comes to my mind is "I won't let this age me. It's not going to change me into something dried out, brittle, old. I won't permit that." But of course it does change me. And I do age a bit, not in my hairstyle or gate, but in my heart.

Just a bit of my optimism turns to acceptance, but with deliberate yielding, not denial or stubborn ignorance. I'm trying so hard to see that I've done the best I can, and then just LET IT GO. Sometimes I am successful, other times... well the other times I was doing my best too. See? I'm getting better at this every day.

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Miss These?

absence of life - 2003-07-28
death cake - 2003-07-08
I won't let this age me. - 2003-07-06
Goodbye Jeffrey - 2003-06-19
Thanks but no thanks. - 2003-06-11