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2003-01-15 | 9:49 p.m.

It would feel so good if I could just have a good hard cry. Cry myself to sleep, just because.

Yes, I'm disappointed that I won't see him as often. The truth is it's better. The less I see of him, the better off I am.

It would just be such a relief to sob for a bit until I drift off to sleep.

.....but way way WAY back in my head there's a terribly faint little voice nagging at me, saying "what IS your problem? Other people would LOVE to have your problems. Really, Pam, it could be SOOO MUCH WORSE."

It is what it is. It feels bad now. Hoping has turned hard. I don't know what to do about it.

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Miss These?

absence of life - 2003-07-28
death cake - 2003-07-08
I won't let this age me. - 2003-07-06
Goodbye Jeffrey - 2003-06-19
Thanks but no thanks. - 2003-06-11

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