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{Reservations} {Tickets} {Map} {Photos} {Souvaniers} {Postcards} {Design} 2002-10-28 | 6:45 p.m. Everything feels like I'm just filling up space. And time, time until what? I guess until I stop breathing and sleep. Joey is here with us now; Joey and Tim and Cara and the world-famous Tiffany. And me. The first night that Joey came home, we had a carrot cake, with the words "Family Again" written in blue iceing, one word arched across the top, and the other looped across the bottom. (o+<)and(>+o). *=< and }:] too. The cake was good. Diary, my ex Joe, or Jose` for short, looked like he's doing ok. Healthy, skin glowing, he had a lilt in his step as usual. Nothing much ever gets to him. He's had enough wishes granted for two lifetimes. I haven't been looking too great nowadays. The reality that one of my most prominant dreams isn't ever going to be a reality, and even if it did come true tomorrow, I feel now like it would be an inferior, knock-off dream. I'm glad I read that book about food addictions. Only 3 dollars spent at the used book store, and I've gotten the answer to questions that has no doubt cost other people thousands of dollars to come up with, if they ever actually have come to them. I do still have one question re: food addition and compulsive over-eating? How come a food addict stops eating when the bag of chips on the couch next to them is empty? Or the bag of candy is empty, or the box of icecream is empty? Why then, if there's a convenience store at the corner, with more? How come it's fulfilling enough to simply use up the supply of 'candy' or whatever that's inside of your house and then you are able to stop eating and do something else? As long as you finish the bag, you're satisfied.. Why? What are we really talking about here? Was eating the contents all that important, or was the REAL goal to get to the bottom and eat the last bite in the house? Is that all we really want? The last piece of cake? Whoever gets the most toys wins? Miss These? absence of life - 2003-07-28 |
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